Heartbreak Comes with the Territory

For some time now Mama and Little Black have been declining. They are senior cats, at least 10 years old. They look like seniors-ratty coat, skinny, that “senior look” about their eyes. Unfortunately, they are also feral cats, which means I can provide minimal medical care. Trapping them to take into the vet is an ordeal, and it would be impossible to take them in for regular senior blood panels. Even if I could take them in, providing daily medication would be impossible.

little black and mama old ladies

My lovely old ladies.

This winter, more than ever before, I lived in fear of them dying from the winter. I was sure that the brutal cold would be too much for their frail senior bodies to handle. They made it through the winter. However, I have a feeling they won’t make it to another one. I went outside today to spend some time with them and provide new catnip toys. Little Black ran over to me and yelled at me, as she is prone to do. I reached down to touch her as she sometimes lets me do. I was able to sneak in a touch on her back, and she is now so skinny I can feel her spine.  My heart broke.  For some time she has been dealing with bald spots and getting skinnier. Someone has been vomiting frequently and I have reason to suspect it is her. I don’t remember the last time they had properly formed stool. But to know this once relatively round kitty is now so skinny I can feel her spine just makes it all hit home.

My lovely ladies are old. They are declining. And I am faced with a dilemma-when do I start the attempts to trap them and take them to their final vet visit? Right now they both seem happy. Little Black is still out exploring her territory. She is as fearless as ever. Mama, well Mama never went far from home. She seems to still be comfortable though. I find them both sitting in the sun on beautiful days like today. They come for food and eat well. They are both bright eyed.  I want them to live and enjoy every moment possible. I also don’t want them to suffer. And I know that trapping these ladies is going to be incredibly hard.

Feral Cat Friends

Little Black and Mama in their prime. BFF for sure!

My plan right now is to focus on the day to day. Make sure I can make each of their days the best possible. Keep providing them with lots of food, fresh water and a comfy house. Play with Little Black as much as I can. Formulate a plan as best as possible to get a drop trap. Figure out the logistics that will go into trapping both girls at the same time. Since they are so bonded, the only way to do this will be to say goodbye to them together. That way they can journey across the bridge together, there will be no confusion or pain for either of them.

I just hope I have the strength to do this before they start to suffer. Finding the sweet spot between giving them enough time and waiting too long. I hope I can find the strength and courage to do this very, very difficult thing for my sweet girls.

2 thoughts on “Heartbreak Comes with the Territory

  1. kittiesblue says:

    Wow, I think I would get both these ladies in for a vet visit asap. You may find that Little Black, especially, has something very curable, and if not it would give you a better idea of when and how to make the decision about their passing. Ten is so young. I understand that life is tough as a feral and their lives are always shorter than for those kitties living indoors. I hope you can have peace of mind that you did the right thing no matter what you decide.

    • Kat says:

      I just realized that my response to your comment didn’t post! I’m so sorry. Thank you for your “positive” spin on the situation. I am going to be more active about trying to trap her and get her in to the vet/work. My plan had been to do it this week, but we are down a whole bunch of people. This will be a good week to trap rehearse with her though! Hopefully she can get a bit of medicine in her- a bit of deworming perhaps- and feel better. I shouldn’t give up on her just yet, especially since she is so energetic and upbeat!

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